THE EMAIL GROWTH SHOW EPISODE 217
So many brilliant women downplay their expertise because they don’t want to come across as braggy, arrogant, or “too much.”
But let’s be honest: hiding your brilliance helps no one.
Not you.
Not your clients.
Not the people who are literally searching for the solution you already have.
In this post (and the matching podcast episode 🎧), I’m diving into why women hide their expertise, how to reframe visibility so it doesn’t feel gross, and practical ways to finally start being seen – without feeling like you’re tooting your own horn.
Listen to this episode here:
TL:DR
What you’ll learn in this episode:
– Why hiding your expertise is keeping you stuck (and broke)
– The difference between bragging and actually owning your brilliance
– My journey from “I’m just an introvert” to stepping into Big Deal Energy
– Six simple ways to share your expertise without feeling like you’re showing off
Ready to be seen?
Here’s how I can help:
→ Book a Business Breakthrough – I’ll personally review your visibility, your offers, and your email list strategy, then send you a private video with the exact clarity shifts I’d make if I were in your shoes. No cookie-cutter advice. Just a personalised 3-step action plan to help you step out of hiding and start being seen with confidence.
Why do we hide our expertise?
If you’ve ever found yourself softening your wins, playing down your achievements, or waiting for someone else to recognise you – you’re not alone.
Here’s what I see all the time:
- Watered-down introductions. You’ve done incredible work, but when someone asks what you do? You give the smallest, safest version.
- Downplaying wins. Instead of celebrating a client transformation or a big milestone, you brush it off with, “Oh, it was nothing.”
- Waiting for recognition. You hope if you just keep your head down, someone will notice and crown you as “the go-to.”
Here’s the kicker: if you’re waiting for someone else to put the spotlight on you, you’ll be waiting forever.
And in the online space? Quiet brilliance doesn’t get rewarded.
Clarity and confidence do.
A story that changed how I see this
When I joined a mastermind led by a multiple 7–8 figure business owner, I was stunned by something he admitted.
Despite running a wildly successful company, he hadn’t really put himself out there.
No ads.
No big visibility campaigns. He leaned on partnerships and smart behind-the-scenes strategies.
And here’s the wild part: I’d never heard of him until he pitched me to speak at his event.
That blew my mind.
Because if he could stay hidden in plain sight – with all that success – how many of us are also quietly hiding instead of fully owning our brilliance?
Bragging vs. Owning your brilliance
Let’s be real: nobody wants to be “that person” online. The one posting humblebrags and endless screenshots of Stripe notifications.
But here’s the difference:
- Bragging is ego. It’s inflating yourself without depth or proof.
- Owning your brilliance is service. It’s showing what’s possible, so your audience can see the path forward.
Sharing your expertise isn’t about saying, “Look at me.”
It’s about saying, “Look at what’s possible for you.”
My journey from hiding to Big Deal Energy
For years, I thought I was just an introvert.
And to a degree, I am – I still get sweaty palms before meeting new people, and after an event, I need alone time to recharge.
But looking back, I realised it wasn’t just introversion.
It was fear.
Fear of being seen.
Fear of being judged.
Fear of people thinking I was “up myself.”
So “I’m an introvert” became my shield.
It wasn’t until my biz bestie Leanne Sia introduced me to the idea of Big Deal Energy that things started to shift.
She helped me see that I wasn’t really an introvert – I was hiding. And when I stopped hiding, when I started owning my brilliance unapologetically, everything changed.
That’s when I started saying out loud: I built my business without social media.
That’s when people started to notice.
6 ways to be seen without feeling braggy
If you’re ready to step forward, here are six practical ways to start showing your expertise without the ick:
1. TELL STORIES, NOT STATS
Share client journeys instead of just your numbers.
2. EDUCATE, DON’T ANNOUNCE
Give lessons learned instead of just dropping achievements.
3. ANCHOR IN SERVICE
Connect your message back to the people you help.
4. KEEP A BRAG BOOK
Collect your testimonials and wins so you get comfortable saying them out loud.
5. PICK YOUR STAGE WISELY
You don’t need to be everywhere – just intentional about where you show up.
6. CELEBRATE PUBLICLY, CONNECT PRIVATELY.
Share your wins, but also personally thank the people who helped you.
The bigger movement
This isn’t just about you.
Every time a woman chooses to stop hiding, it gives permission for another woman to do the same.
The more of us who step forward, unapologetically owning our brilliance?
The more powerful we rise together.
So, let’s audit where you’re hiding…
If you’re thinking, “Okay Kylie, I know I’m hiding. I know I’m downplaying. But where do I even start?” – that’s exactly why I created my Business Breakthrough Audit.
It’s a $44 deep dive into your visibility, your email list, and your sales flow. I’ll show you exactly where you’re holding back and give you a 3-step plan to start being seen without feeling braggy.
Because the brilliance you carry today? You earned it.
And it’s time the world saw it.
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Full Transcript:
Kylie Kelly [00:00:00]:
Owning your expertise, that’s not bragging. I see that as service. Because when you share what you know, when you claim the results that you’ve created, you’re not saying, look at me, you’re saying, look at what’s possible for you. Are you a female business owner frustrated.
Kylie Kelly [00:00:20]:
With battling the algorithm and looking for growth strategies that don’t involve awkwardly pointing or dancing online or throwing cash at paid ads? Welcome to the Email Growth Show. I’m your host, Kylie Kelly, visibility and email marketing strategist. I grew my email list from zero to almost 10,000 subscribers in less than two years.
Kylie Kelly [00:00:39]:
And the same is possible for you, too. Are you ready to build your email.
Kylie Kelly [00:00:43]:
List and start making more money in your online business? Let’s head into today’s episode.
Kylie Kelly [00:00:51]:
Hey. Hey. Welcome back to the Email Growth Show. Today, I want to talk about something that honestly breaks my heart when I see it. Something I know you’ve probably done. Something I’ve absolutely done myself. Hiding your expertise, downplaying the brilliance you’ve worked so damn hard to build because you’re scared of looking braggy, arrogant or too much. Let’s be real.
Kylie Kelly [00:01:16]:
Women, especially have been conditioned not to take up space, to be humble, to be grateful, to not rock the boat. And so when it comes to actually owning our achievements, we freeze. We soften our words, we talk ourselves down, we make our expertise small because we don’t want anyone to think we’re full of ourselves. But here’s the truth. Hiding your brilliance doesn’t serve anyone. Not you, not your clients, and not the people desperately waiting for the transformation that you can bring. So today, we’re going to dive into this why we hide, why it’s such a problem, how to reframe it, and most importantly, how to start being seen without it feeling braggy or gross. So let’s start with the reality.
Kylie Kelly [00:02:01]:
I see this all the time. You’ve done the work, you’ve studied, you’ve practised, built, launched, tested, refined. You’ve actually got the results to back it up. But when someone asks you what you do, you give them the watered down version, right? Or maybe you’ve had wins, but instead of celebrating them, you shrug them off. Oh, it’s. It’s nothing. Just luck. Just timing.
Kylie Kelly [00:02:24]:
Does that sound familiar? Or perhaps you secretly hope that if you just keep your head down and do good work, someone else will notice and elevate you. But here’s the kicker. If you are waiting for someone else to pat you on the back, you’re going to be waiting a long time and look, I love hyping up my clients. I’ll pat you on the back all day long. But in the real world, nobody is standing around ready to crown you queen of your industry. You have to step up and claim that crown yourself. This is why so many brilliant business owners feel invisible. Not because they aren’t good enough, not because they don’t have what it takes, but because they’re hiding in plain sight.
Kylie Kelly [00:03:00]:
And the online space, it rewards clarity and confidence, not quiet brilliance. So if you’re hiding back because you’re afraid of being too much, guess what? You’re actually becoming invisible. And invisibility is not going to ever pay the bills. So let me tell you a quick story. I joined a new mastermind recently. Now, I’m not going to name names, but we’re talking a multiple seven to eight figure business owner here. And I was shocked by something that he admitted. He told us point blank that while he’d built his wildly successful business, he hadn’t really put himself out there.
Kylie Kelly [00:03:36]:
He hadn’t run ads, he hadn’t focused on being visible personally. He had leveraged partnerships. He’d built really smart systems. But promoting himself, talking about his brilliance himself as a personal brand, that wasn’t a priority. I have to admit, I had no idea who he was until he pitched me to speak at his event. Like zero. And this is someone running a multi million dollar company. Now, I don’t share this.
Kylie Kelly [00:04:02]:
To say that you need to run ads, that is not the message here. But I do share it. Because it’s such a powerful reminder that even the most successful entrepreneurs can fall into the trap of hiding behind their work. And when you do that, people who should know you, people who need you, who want to know about you, won’t find you. And if that can happen to an eight figure CEO, it can happen to you and me too. Let’s flip this whole bragging narrative on its head. Bragging is about ego, right? It’s about inflating yourself, often without proof. It’s shallow, it’s often insecure.
Kylie Kelly [00:04:38]:
But owning your expertise, that’s not bragging. I. I see that as service. Because when you share what you know, when you claim the results that you’ve created, you’re not saying, look at me, you’re saying, look at what’s possible for you. That subtle shift changes everything. Think about it. The brilliance that you carry today didn’t just land in your lap. You’ve walked through hard shit to earn it.
Kylie Kelly [00:05:03]:
The mistakes, the late nights, the tears, the doubts, the fears like You’ve lived through it all. You’ve put the hours in and you fought for this. So why, when you finally arrive at a place where you can help others, would you shrink back? That’s actually not humility. That’s playing small. And playing small helps no one. And look, I’ve been there, too. For a long time. I didn’t want to be seen as loud or too much or full of myself.
Kylie Kelly [00:05:29]:
So I softened. I spoke quieter. I played down what I’d built. But here’s what happened when I finally stopped hiding. When I started saying out loud that I’d built my business without social media, people listened, people leaned in. And to be honest, people even copied me. Which, yes, was annoying. But also, it was proof that my message was powerful enough to spread.
Kylie Kelly [00:05:51]:
And the second that I owned my voice, doors started opening. That is the magic of visibility. Not forced, not fake, but unapologetically owning your brilliance. So let’s get practical with this pep talk. How do you actually be seen with. Without feeling braggy, here are six strategies that you can start using today. Number one, I want you to tell stories, not just stats. Instead of saying, I doubled my revenue, I want you to say, here’s a simple shift that changed everything for my client, Sarah, and it could for you, too.
Kylie Kelly [00:06:28]:
Same authority, less ego. Right? Number two, educate. Don’t just announce. Instead of posting, I hit six figures you can share. Here are three lessons I learned on the way to six figures. It positions you as the expert, right? And it does give that milestone credibility that it deserves, but it still gives value. Number three, I want you to root your message in service when you connect your work back to why you do it and who it helps people feel your passion instead of thinking that it’s bragging. Four, I actually want you to start a brag book.
Kylie Kelly [00:07:02]:
Yes, I know. Kind of feels counterintuitive, but I want you to keep a running document with testimonials, with screenshots, wins, milestones. And I want you to practice saying them out loud, even when it feels uncomfortable. And if it feels uncomfortable, that is your sign. You need to practice more. I actually have a computer screensaver. So it’s on my computer. It’s my desktop, my screensaver, and it is full of those.
Kylie Kelly [00:07:26]:
Those brags, right? As well as affirmations like, I’m a fucking big deal, like things that I want to remind myself of. Otherwise I kind of forget and it is second nature to shrink back. So I want you to start a brag book. Like that. Maybe it’s a computer Desktop image. Maybe it is a screensaver, maybe it’s some post it notes on your mirror. Maybe it is a Google Doc, like whatever it needs to be. But start a place where you can keep track of all of the testimonials, the kind words, the milestones, the wins, the things you want to remember.
Kylie Kelly [00:07:59]:
And I want you to practice saying them out loud. Number five, choose your stage intentionally. You do not need to be everywhere. If you’ve listened to this podcast for more than five minutes, you’ll know that I will die on that hill. But you do need to be intentional. So choose. Do you want to do podcast guesting? Do you want to do a bundle, an email feature? Freebie? Swap one intentional stage with somebody that also serves your ideal client. Can do more than a hundred fucking Instagram posts.
Kylie Kelly [00:08:27]:
And finally, number six, I want you to celebrate publicly, but connect personally. This is big one. So yes, share your wins online, but I want you to also follow up privately with clients or peers to thank them.
Kylie Kelly [00:08:40]:
Right?
Kylie Kelly [00:08:41]:
It keeps your authority human and grounded. And your best wins will always come from the relationships that you personally develop that you actually put the time into creating and deepening. Here’s where I want to zoom out. This is not about you. This is about us. Because the more women who stop hiding, the more women who choose to own their brilliance unapologetically, the more women that step into this, the more powerful we get to be together. That’s the bigger picture here. Every time you step up and share your expertise instead of shrinking, you are paving the way for someone else to do the same.
Kylie Kelly [00:09:15]:
You are saying it’s safe to be seen, it’s safe to take up space, it’s safe to celebrate what you’ve built. And imagine what happens when thousands of women do that, when the new normal is women owning empires without apology, without waiting for permission. That is the movement that I am here for. Now, if you’re listening and thinking, yes, Kylie, I know I’m hiding, I know I’m downplaying, but I don’t even know where to start. This is your nudge. This is exactly why I created my business Breakthrough audit. It’s a $44 deep dive where I look at your visibility, your list growth, your sales flow, and I’ll show you exactly where you’re hiding your brilliance and how you can shift it. You’ll walk away with a three step action plan that you can implement immediately and the confidence to finally stop hiding.
Kylie Kelly [00:10:02]:
Because remember, if you’re serious about building an empire without social media, you can’t afford to be invisible. And this audit is going to give you the clarity you need to step forward with confidence. So go and grab yours today. The link is in the show notes. And remember this, if you do not own your brilliance, nobody else will. So stop hiding. Step forward. Celebrate the empire that you’re building.
Kylie Kelly [00:10:26]:
Because the brilliance that you carry today is you fucking earned it. And the world needs to see it. Thanks for tuning in today, my loves. I can’t wait to see you again next week. Until then, please remember that you’re a big fucking deal and I will talk to you again soon. All right, bye for now. Thank you so much for tuning into.
Kylie Kelly [00:10:45]:
This episode of the Email Growth Show. I hope you found valuable insights into the next steps you can take to grow your email list and boost your business without relying on social media or paid ads.
Kylie Kelly [00:10:56]:
If you enjoyed this episode, please take.
Kylie Kelly [00:10:58]:
A moment to rate and review the.
Kylie Kelly [00:10:59]:
Show and share it with others. Your feedback helps me reach more female.
Kylie Kelly [00:11:03]:
Entrepreneurs just like you who are ready.
Kylie Kelly [00:11:06]:
To say goodbye to social media and.
Kylie Kelly [00:11:07]:
Leverage email marketing to grow their business and make a bigger impact.
Kylie Kelly [00:11:11]:
Thank you so much for listening and.
Kylie Kelly [00:11:13]:
I’ll see you in the next episode.
