THE EMAIL GROWTH SHOW EPISODE 232
I don’t think most women in business need another strategy.
I think they need to loosen their grip.
On timelines.
On expectations.
On proving that the last investment wasn’t a mistake.
This episode is for every woman who’s been burned by a mastermind, a mentor, or a “safe room” that turned out not to be so safe – and kept going anyway.
And yeah… I’m sharing a personal story here that I’ve never brought to the podcast before.
Listen to this episode here:
TL:DR
What you’ll learn in this episode:
– Why overworking often comes before burnout
– How being “loyal” to the wrong container can quietly stall your growth
– The difference between effort and expansion and why pressure isn’t the answer
– What a clenched fist vs an open hand looks like in business leadership
– How to rebuild trust with yourself after a disappointing investment
Ready for a room that actually feels safe & strategic?
The Empire Expansion Event is for experienced women who are done forcing, done proving, and ready to grow with clarity, support, and leadership that stays human.
Apply for the Empire Expansion Event now.
P.S. You don’t need another strategy.
You need the right room – and the permission to open your hand.
The clenched-fist season no one talks about
Here’s what I’m noticing everywhere right now.
Smart. Capable. Experienced women working really hard.
Not falling apart.
Not chaotic.
Just constantly gripping.
Gripping the plan.
Gripping the data.
Gripping the strategy.
Gripping the outcome.
And when things don’t move fast enough?
The instinct is to grip tighter.
Invest again.
Push harder.
Stay longer.
Prove something.
Especially if you’ve been burned before.
That’s why this image of a clenched fist hit me so deeply.
Because a clenched fist can work…
But it can’t receive.
And I realised – honestly – I do this too.
I hold tightly to timelines, metrics, numbers, proof.
When sometimes what my business actually needs is for me to breathe…
To slow down…
To open my hand.
Not to stop caring – but to stop forcing.
What getting burned actually does to your nervous system
A lot of us have been disappointed.
Burned by masterminds.
Burned by group programs.
Burned by coaches who promised safety, sisterhood, and support – and delivered pressure, silence, or ego instead.
When that happens, your nervous system adapts.
It learns to protect you.
So gripping harder feels responsible.
It feels smart.
It feels like control.
And for a while?
It works.
But over time, it also makes growth heavier than it needs to be.
The mastermind experience that changed everything for me
My very first mastermind experience was back in 2021.
The mentor was very Instagram-famous at the time.
I listened to her podcast.
I trusted her voice.
I joined full of belief and excitement.
I stayed over a year.
I renewed.
I became alumni.
And quietly – painfully – I got burned.
Ideas I shared were taken and passed off as her own.
Boundaries between friend and client blurred.
And when my personal life hit a genuinely hard financial season?
There was no softness.
No empathy.
Just the contract.
I wasn’t asking for special treatment – I’d signed the agreement. But what broke something in me was realising I wasn’t valued as a person.
I was a seat.
A number.
A transaction.
And when you’re an empath – when you feel deeply – that kind of realisation cuts.
The invisible lesson that lingers
That experience shaped how I show up in business more than I realised at the time.
It taught me:
- Proximity doesn’t equal care
- Access doesn’t equal safety
- Success doesn’t equal integrity
And when you’ve been burned like that?
You protect yourself next time.
You watch more closely.
You stay longer than you should.
You tell yourself, I just need to make this work.
That’s not weakness.
That’s self-protection.
And your nervous system is doing exactly what it’s designed to do.
What I saw inside the Empire Expansion Event
I’ve just wrapped up my third Empire Expansion Event, and it filled me up in the best way.
But something really clear came up – especially on day one.
None of the women were “burnt out.”
They were functioning.
Capable.
Ambitious.
But they were overworking in invisible ways.
Overthinking.
Over-efforting.
Over-holding.
That clenched-fist energy teaches your body that growth requires strain.
That success has to feel heavy.
So when support does appear?
Receiving feels unsafe.
If you’ve been burned, hear this…
Just because you were burned doesn’t mean you were bad at choosing.
It means you’re more discerning now.
And that’s a strength at this level of business.
You don’t need louder hype or bigger rooms.
You need:
- Safety
- Clarity
- Real collaboration
- Leadership that doesn’t disappear when life gets human
That’s not being difficult.
That’s being experienced.
Growth doesn’t respond to pressure
This is the thought I keep coming back to:
Growth doesn’t respond to pressure.
It responds to clarity.
And clarity often comes when you loosen your grip.
When you stop forcing timelines.
When you stop proving.
When you stop staying out of obligation.
An open hand doesn’t mean giving up.
It means trusting that you don’t have to strangle your business to make it grow.
Why I built my work differently…
This is why my work looks the way it does now.
Smaller rooms.
Clear expectations.
Real conversations.
Human support.
No “keep up or fall behind.”
No performative friendship.
No pretending money is the only thing holding us together.
I never want someone in my world to feel like a number.
One of the women from the Empire Expansion Event said something to me on her celebration call that I’ll never forget:
“You’re the first coach my nervous system has actually felt safe with.”
That mattered more to me than any flashy income claim ever could.
Because yes – my clients grow revenue.
Yes – they hit milestone months.
Yes – they grow their lists.
But how they feel always comes first.
Finally…
If you’ve ever been burned – please don’t harden.
Please don’t close.
Please don’t grip so tightly that nothing new can reach you.
And if you’re holding everything right now – white knuckles and all – this is your permission to soften.
To open your palm.
To breathe.
To let support land instead of forcing progress.
You don’t need to push harder.
You might just need to receive differently.
Ready for a room that actually feels safe and strategic?
The Empire Expansion Event is for experienced women who are done forcing, done proving, and ready to grow with clarity, support, and leadership that stays human.
Apply for the Empire Expansion Event now.
P.S. You don’t need another strategy.
You need the right room – and the permission to open your hand.
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